The Voice: Week Four

With the Battles Blindness starting to fade and the realisation that we’re all basically Wilfred Owen at the mercy of The Voice’s shellshock and Jessie J’s 90s Prada peplum, what are the conclusions that we’ve come to? Are our lives drastically different from this time last week? And what does it mean for our desire to jettison Danny O’Donaghue from The Voice’s gravy train?

Well not much really. We haven’t really learned much from the artists (which is “contestants” in X Factor speak), with the majority of ones that had some sort of spark to them forced back into obscurity with your David Sneddons and Zoe Salmons. For example, the “YouTube Sensation” was unceremoniously vetoed after a quick edit and an underperforming contestant. 

Which is a shame because after three hours of watching people singing the same song at the same time, not much has gone in. Eventually, especially towards the end of the second show, the songs started to bleed together into one, like when you mix cerulean blue and sky blue paint and it comes out that horrible, half colour, that isn’t what you were after but will have to do anyway. 

Where this stands in the greater scheme of The Voice’s imprint on our mind, we don’t know. Hopefully by next week we’ll have been able to convalesce for a while and reset our retina and the tiny bit of our ears that are probably distended by hearing ‘This is a really hard decision” or “I’m glad it’s not me.” Hearing that for, what feels like the hundredth time, while Jessie J flicks her peplum in her best Hilary Devey impression, has got beyond tiresome and lapsed into a shout infused coma. 

UP NEXT: THE LIVE SHOWS!

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