Prometheus; Seven Things We Know?

“Big Things Have Little Beginnings,” not that that’s something Michael Fassbender has to worry about.

With only four days to go before Ridley Scott’s sort-of prequel to Alien is released, what do we know for certain will be going on?

  • There’s an android. Michael Fassbender is set to play David, an artificial life form sent with the Prometheus on their journey through time and space (not time, just space). Avid fans of the Alien franchise will know that androids have a habit of going a bit mental when they are confronted with strong willed women. Ash, in Alien went mad due to the products needed to keep Sigourney Weaver’s barnet bouncy, and Bishop went mental when he realised a child was going to get more of a buzz than he was (although he redeemed himself in the end). The minute that you see white liquid anywhere near Michael Fassbender, you know something brilliant is about to happen. (That sounds a bit rude, but it isn’t.)
  • There are links to Alien, albeit tangentially. Damon Lindelof, one of the people we can blame for Lost, has said that although the titular xenomorphs won’t be appearing in the film, that their DNA will be. However literal he was being remains to be seen, but there are egg like sacs featured in the numerous trailers and a shot of something melting the helmet of one of the crew of the Prometheus, just like a face hugger might do. Ridley has also said that, although Alien was the jumping off point for the prequel, it will be different enough to explore the expanded Universe and mythology of mankind’s origins.
  • The Space Jockey. One of the bigger shocks in the teaser trailers was the inclusion of The Space Jockey, the elephantine giant that was seen manning a giant gun in the original Alien. What he was doing there, and how he died are still a mystery, and although there did look like a face hugger was making sweet, sweet love to his face, this hasn’t been followed up in later films, with the focus being more on shooty shooty action and Queens.
  • A Whole Lotta History. Although Alien was set in 2122, it looks like that the events on the Nostromo aren’t that far into the future, as Prometheus is set in the late 21st Century. Hopefully Prometheus will end with Noomi Rapace being the mother of Ellen Ripley and there being so freaky deaky time travel. DISCLAIMER: if this happens, I will be suing.
  • Sleek n’ Shine. It looks like everyone travelling on the Prometheus has stocked up on their hair products. How important are good follicle treatments when you’re exploring new planets? Do first impressions count to giant elephant men who want to destroy Earth?
  • DAMMIT BURKE! With Charlize Theron (Mis-Ter Eff) playing the dutiful villain on the side of “the Company” (boo hiss), it looks like we might have the very first example of Weyland Yutani, at this point only Weyland, being all mastermindy and malevolent. It won’t be the same without Sigourney Weaver’s multi-million dollar perm waving around at Paul Reiser, but we’ll deal with that on the day.
  • Here’s Looking At You Kid. On the planet Prometheus visits, next to some of the xenomorphesque eggs kicking around, there’s a large human head. It’s kind of reminiscent of those office toys that are full of needles and make an image of what you’re pushing against them, and I think that Jessie J is pushing against it. I wonder if the Space Jockey is just Jessie J in Spring/Summer 2012.

Here’s the trailer; try not to wet your knickers.

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