I’ve recently read an article on Huffington Post about how having a gay best friend could be really good for a straight man.
If you’re not horrified enough by that initial sentence as it is, allow me to elaborate.
Someone has actually thought about how a gay man would be a great asset to a straight man’s life. Not that they’ll have a long and lasting relationship based on respect and mutual love, but how having a gay man in your life can benefit a straight man’s. Sounds pretty shitty doesn’t it?
So here is why he is so far wrong.
“Your gay best friend may become your wife’s friend too”
To Alex Sangha, self appointed human rights activist, one of the major selling points of being a gay man is that you can get them to entertain your wife as well. Like a court jester, but with snappy dressing and quips about cocktails and penises. There is literally no way that a straight man can be friends with your wife though, no no, not at all.
“Your gay best friend can be a great listener and social support as many gay people lived through bullying in their youth and became sensitive, caring and loving people as adults. You, you can cry and open up with your new gay best friend.”
To say that you can’t cry and open up with your straight friends is worrying, and could be why there are so many problems with younguns facing a life of potential unemployment and living in a lower social strata than what should be legally allowed. It isn’t that gay men are better at listening, I know so many gay men who are so involved in their own biz that they don’t care what’s going on in their friends lives, it’s that straight men are so compacted and scared of expressing themselves that they’re doing themselves damage.
“Your gay best friend can help you outfit your wardrobe and you’ll be out of the store on time and on budget. You gay best friend can make a great gym and fitness buddy.”
Why? Not all gay men are obsessed with going to the gym, or dishing out the best fashion advice to men lost in Topman. If anything, the sudden rise of appreciation of the bear subculture shows that there are some men that actively shun the gym and that whole lifestyle. Just like straight men who don’t like football or straight men who might like to read.
It’s impossible to segregate anyone into simplistic groups.
“Your gay best friend will be there for you if you ever need a hug. Hugging is the universal gay greeting.”
Nothing is universal in the ‘gay world.’ Nothing at all.
“Your gay best friend would probably be a good ego boost to your self-esteem and self-confidence when you need emotional support. This can help you overcome any rejection you experience from the women in your life.”
Basically “keep a gay man around to perv on you and say nice things to you if you’re feeling shitty. They are that shallow.”
“Your gay best friend is a loyal, committed, and trusted friend because for many gay people, their friends are their family.”
Nah, gay men can be just as fickle and vain as straight men when it comes to having idiots in their lives. And to say that their friends are their family is some cheap dig because, presumably Alex Sangha thinks that gay men can’t have families, which for a social worker and human rights activist is worrying. How can he aid struggling families in an open and honest manner when his own presumptions are spilling out here, and are so very, very wrong.
“You can crash at your gay best friend’s place when the need arises.”
This should read: ‘You can crash at your best friend’s place when the need arises.’ End of sentence.
This doesn’t show why gay men are better at being friends than straight men, or even why gay men can be a great addition to someone’s life. It shows how shit straight men are at being friends. Which again, isn’t true. This simplistic and narrow view of how gay men act is straight out of Sex and The City. It’s a normalised view of how gay men should be acting and how that relates to a straight man’s World, despite the fact that the whole concept of a Gay World was created because of straight men and women’s actions.
Gay men aren’t flouncing, mincing machines anymore. In fact there could be one sitting next to you right now, and because they’re not wearing a feather boa and talking about boys and jellybeans, you’ll never know.
Don’t tell Alex Sangha though, I don’t know whether he could take it.